"Tighter than a Boar's Rear at Fly Time!"

When my dad was growing up, he had a grandmother (Grandma Telly) that would have sayings for different situations in life that were usually pretty funny, yet useful. He grew up on a farm, so some of the sayings could be a little gross.

I went to the doctor today for my weekly check-up and was reminded of one...

Two weeks ago when I went to the doctor, I got excited because she said I was one cm dilated. I thought this was good considering at the time I had one month left to go until my due date. However, last week when I went to the doctor, I got the same report...one cm (still 9 to go)! When I went to the doctor today, she said I had made some progress, but was still between a 1 and a 2. As I was leaving the office, I laughed to myself because I knew if Grandma Telly were here she would say that I am "tighter than a boar's rear at fly time." Kind of gross, I know, but true! Here are some more of her fun sayings...

"Busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kickin' contest."
"Suckin' on a hind one." (you'll only understand this if you grew up on a farm)
"Funnier than a rubber crutch in a polio-ward on a hot summer day."
"Busier than a one-armed paper hanger."
"Slicker than snot on a door knob."
"All I can see is the front of her back."